Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Plaza We Ain't...


VERSUS:



Today we had an Eloise moment (You know, the books about the eponymous 6 year old who lives at the swanky New York Plaza Hotel? and is kind of a jerk?)

We were coming in from waddling the dog around the block. Now, The Bear has decided that holding mummy's hand is not cool (unless of course there are shouting crackheads or friendly elderly people, to both of which Teddy reacts with glassy eyed horror. It's pretty embarrassing, but I digress).

As we got into the building I let go of the squirmy little hand I had been wrangling the whole time we were out. And the kid was gone like THAT. The flash fast. He practically had a sonic boom. Which would have been fine if the elevator had not just arrived and disgorged some folks.
People (stupid stupid people) hop out of the way for a winsome, waddling 18 month old (today!) fellow in a way they don't for a chubby thirty year old woman dragging a dog. So Teddy trotted through the crowd and on to the lift.
As the doors were closing.
"TEDDY NOOOOO!"
I shoved my way past a couple of well dressed fellows, barely stopping to wonder "Dude. Argyle? in August?"
And threw myself in front of the doors, waving like a wild thing. The doors are supposed to be motion sensitive, but they really really aren't. I was practically doing Riverdance as I tried to scoop up Teddy to stop him from pressing the only button he can reach - the alarm, and drag the dog through the doors, while not being crushed like a grape.
We made it.
Teddy blinked up at me, grinning.
"TEDDY" Imagine STERN voice, and at some volume"YOU MUSTN'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN"
His bottom lip wobbled.
"it's DANGEROUS."
his eyes teared up and small eeeeeeeei sound escaped him, and I felt like the world's worst parent. Though I know that his tears are of the "Oh no don't be mad at meeeeee, you still love me right? How could you be mad at this face?" variety as opposed to the "Oh, I am so contrite. I will never give my mama that kind of heart fluttering run around again".
Also, If I ever run into that Eloise kid with her elevator hopping shenanigans. I'm going to give her a swift kick in the pants.

Eloise poster from here.

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