Thursday, November 4, 2010

In which I fix some tights... and say crotch a bit

Can we talk about underwear for a second? OK? good.
Actually, I'm kind of surprised that we haven't talked about underwear before now... Did you know that I used to be a bra fitter for Marks And Spencer? Yup I did. I've seen more boobs than Ron Jeremy. I was good at it, and it was a useful skill. Hell, I'll measure you up soon as look at you! You know about the double-hoick-lean-forward-and-shake-it rule right?...

(... Wait wait wait... this wasn't supposed to be a post about boobs, but if anybody is interested let me know and we can talk about boobs and bra sizing in detail.)

OK. Back on topic. I wanted to talk about tights. Thick, cottony, only-good-thing-about-winter, tights. I recently bought a few pairs. But I had kind of a problem with them. See, I have quite long legs.Which means that tights do this thing where the crotch (heh "crotch") starts at mid thigh on me but the waistline comes up to my boobs.
Which, you guys, not a good look.
So I figured out a super quick fix. That's actually easier to see than describe.

See? suggestiveness aside, here's what you do...

1. Turn your tights inside out
2. Set your sewing machine to a zig zig stitch.
3. Sew a U shape like THAT. If your tights have a "fully fashioned gusset" (dude, is there a creepier phrase in the world? I think not.) You need to make sure you've got both the front and back fairly even.
4. Snip away the extra.
5.Try finding another polite word for crotch. Fail.
6. Put them on and rejoice in the ability to actually move your legs.


  1. Hi! i just wanted to say that it would be nice to have a post about bra-sizes!! I loved your red skirt (I love all things red, but your skirt is really something)and I hope that, one day, I'll have a kid who likes to clean up too :P I really like your blog, not only your ideas and "tuts", but your style of writing aswell :)

  2. I'm following you in my Google Reader, so I'll most definitely be back for a reveal-all bra-chat ;-)

  3. Hello.. THANKS to you, this single father of two girls is completely confident in helping my girls transition from girls to young ladies.

    Your post (Friday, November 5, 2010
    What's a good title for a post about boobs?)
    was very informative,understandable and i thought funny the way you say things lol i must agree with "sabi" i like your style of writing your a cool thanks again and if you have any other cool ideas too post for us single fathers/parents with pertaining to girls and clothing please do!

  4. Nice ideas. Can U show me how to turn spanx into crotchless ?


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